Wife And Game Warden

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing
And decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.


He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
"Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

3 blondes

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Robot And Lie

One day Jonny's dad bought a robot.

The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Jonny returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, " Son why are you late from school?".

Jonny answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".

Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Jonny on his face.

His dad told him son, This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are you late?"

"Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments", Splatt Jonny got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

" No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen." Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."

Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Jonny's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, " After all he is your son, he will be like you ",

to which the robot_____________

Bal Thackrey and Cricket

A cricket match is on between the Aussies & Indians at Wankhede Stadium.
Bal Thackrey is sitting in the balcony watching it. He's very happy that the Pakies are not there.
Suddenly Sachin hits a sixer to McGrath and the ball lands up just next to Bal Thackrey's seat. McGrath shouts, 'Hey ! Gimme the ball back.'
Thackrey shouts back, 'Yey Marathit bol.' McGrath doesn't understand a thing & repeats his statement. This gets the same reply from Thackrey. Now, a security official standing at the boundry goes to McGrath & tells him, 'Sir, that is Bal Thackrey.' Now McGrath is excited, (he has heard about him) and shouts, 'OH! BALL TAK REY.' Bal Thackrey is happy and throws the ball back to him.

ENGINEER

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